Kindness is reciprocated with kindness

After shopping at a supermarket, I walked towards the open car park where I parked my car. I noticed a Chinese couple having a row with two Malay youths on a motorbike. As I approached, the youths rode off angrily.

I talked to the Chinese couple. They told me that they spotted a vacant parking space when a motorbike ridden by the two Malay youths overtook them and occupied the space. They got off their car and scolded the youths. The Malay youths got angry and they traded insults.

After telling me what happened, the couple ended by saying, “Useless Mat Rempit. Their kind of people behave like that.”

I decided to have a few words with them, and asked them very politely:

• Did the boys know that you wanted the parking space?
• Why did you not park at another place instead of quarreling with them and risking high blood pressure?
• If the boys were Chinese, would you be as hostile to them?

I left the couple and walked towards my car. 4 or 5 motorbikes have gathered at a spot near my car. The young Malay riders seemed to be in a discussion. Upon seeing me, they stopped talking and eyed me warily. Without any hesitation, I flashed them a sincere smile. They looked awkward at first, but soon they smiled back. I told them politely that I wanted to drive my car out. They nodded politely and moved their bikes away from my car.

Before I drove off, I waved to them and said in English, “Happy New Year!” They waved back. Some of them even found their voices to say “Happy New Year!”

Kindness begets kindness.

Timeless Barbarians

During the Chinese New Year, I visited a busy shopping complex. The car park was full, forcing me to circle it a couple of times. Finally, a car came out of a parking space right in front of me. Unfortunately, I did not have enough room to manoeuvre my car into the space.

There was a solitary car behind me, so I opened the door of my car and gestured to the other driver to reverse his car a little. Astonishingly, he did not budge an inch. I gestured again but my effort was in vain. What an unkind driver! Anger began to surge through me. When people are angry, they do stupid things. I guess I was no different. I had this urge to punish the driver by refusing to move my car so that he was stuck behind me for good. If he refuses to budge, so can I.

Fuming, I looked into my rear mirror and saw a woman sitting next to the male driver and a few children in the back seat.

Suddenly, I was jolted by a knock on my window. A Chinese man was standing by my car and he asked if I was looking for a place to park. I nodded. He said, “There’s an available space over there. Go quickly.” I was so grateful to him, “Thanks! I’m so angry with the driver behind me.”

His next words shocked me out of my rage. “What do you expect from people of that race? They behave like that!”

What made him say that? Where's the logic? A stubborn, stupid and unkind driver can be found in any race, including my own. Making racial remarks and blindly condemning others seems to be a barbaric instinct in humankind.

There's a story of a particular village occupied by two rival clans. Though of the same ethnic origin, each clan regarded the other clan with disdain. The differences ran so deep that the members of each clan refused to let their offspring marry the other clan. So, you see, this barbaric instinct is the cause of not only racial problems but also tribal conflicts.

It looks like humans can run amok anytime if they do not know how to rein themselves back.

Back to the incident in the car park. I was as stubborn and stupid as the other driver so that made two 21st century barbarians, one from each race.

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Quick to say sorry

It was Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

After visiting an open house, I happily got into my car and began to drive home. As I was approaching a small junction, I noticed a small car being driven on a road on my left. Naturally, I expected it to stop at the junction and wait for me to pass first before it moved out. But, unbelievably, the motorist continued to drive out of the junction and straight on a collision course with my car.

I swerved violently to the right. Fortunately, there were no other vehicles behind. The near collision scared me out of my wit. After regaining my composure, I saw red. I gave chase and wanted to honk the driver dead.

Then, I noticed the rogue driver stuck his right hand out of the window and gestured “I’m sorry”. He slowed down and allowed me to overtake him. I gave him my most menacing glare. He was a young Malay guy and with him was another young Malay lad. Both of them made eye contact with me and the driver gestured again: “I’m sorry”.

His readiness to say sorry neutralized my anger. He did the right thing. He knew he was wrong and he was quick to say sorry. That is honourable.